Lifestyle

Won’t Let Go, Life Update

Won’t let go, Life Update. Hey everyone, I hope you are all well. It’s been a minute since I posted on the blog. There has been so much going on around the world and that is why in today’s post, I am sharing a life update. Things are starting to look brighter again because the government are easing the Lockdown process very slowly. I thought this was the right time to share my thoughts on everything that’s been going on in my life during this Pandemic.

Won’t Let Go, Life Update

I don’t even know where to start with this post, I have so much to say but where should I start from? And how can I talk about this without getting so emotional? I’m just going to start by saying that I’m well and healthy and I am grateful for life. My family members have not been affected with Covid-19 and I am very grateful to God for keeping my family and me safe.

Before I start, I just say that this post was inspired by the best gospel singer Travis Greene’s song ‘Won’t Let Go‘. I was introduced to the song by the love of my life, who has been my rock throughout this painful times. And this song changed everything for me. Listening to the words alone made me realise why I am still here. Despite everything that has happened to me, I never gave up. I’m still here because God is not done with yet with me.

Lockdown

The Lockdown period was extremely stressful. I tried as much as possible not to watch the News, but that’s the only way we will know what is happening. My dad left us in the UK, and went to back to Nigeria for ‘work’. At least, that’s what he said. Which of course upset my mum because she’s home alone with my little sister and was constantly looking for ways to protect herself and my little sister. It was very scary because here I am at home alone with my little girl, trying to stay sane and normal with a positive mindset, and my mum was sending me messages on my WhatsApp of some Remides I could use to protect myself and my daughter from COVID-19.

As a mum, I understand how worried she must have been and still is, but as a daughter I was annoyed. I don’t blame her though, I mean I would do the same if I had 3 kids and a grandchild who live in the same city and like an hour away but I can’t go see them because of a virus that is killing everybody, every single day. 10,000, 15,000, 20,000 etc people died and the number was just increasing every single day. Gosh, it was a nightmare.

I turned 30 in May 2020 and I couldn’t celebrate it. I had plans to host a party with family and it was cancelled due to Lockdown. Also, nobody remembers it was my birthday. Not even my own family. I had a very lonely day but I did not even buy a birthday cake. I just celebrated by having a nice juicy steak dinner with a bottle of Red wine and watching Netflix with my daughter.

Black Lives Matter

As if the world is not going through enough, here comes another crisis – Racism. I support my people and I don’t understand why the police killings are still happening at a time that the whole world is struggling to breathe. Scrap that – Why is it even happening at all? Why, why, and why? The chaos was far too much, the protesting, riots, world leaders not doing anything to support. Even my city Aberdeen, in Scotland, took part in the protest. A lot of people have lost their business, families have lost a son, an uncle, a brother, nephew, fathers. Even the women, sisters, aunties, daughters, mothers, nices. Seriously, what is going on?

As a black woman, I am petrified for my family. At the end of the day, all we want is equality. The truth is we never stood a chance. We are fighting the same war our ancestors fought hard for in 2020, like seriously? I am utterly disgusted that this is happening. The fact that I, my future husband or son could get killed by the police, (who are supposed to protect us) because of the colour of our skin in 2020, is a total disgrace to humanity.

Racism

We are already going through Racism in our neighbourhood, at our jobs and education. The difference between then and now is that we felt safe by contacting the police to help us. Now, we feel like be don’t have any protection at all and we have been betrayed by the system. I am even scared to walk down the streets alone with my daughter because I could get stopped and killed for no reason other than the colour of my skin. Do you understand what that does to a human mindset?

The victims were innocent, decent human beings with goals and a great future ahead of them. You’ll never know what they have been through to get to where they are and then the police, who we gave our trust to, they are murdering us? And yet people are expecting us to stay quiet? After George Floyd, a black man killed in broad daylight and surrounded by people, he was murdered by a policeman. What does that tell you? And the sad part all this, is that it’s happening as we speak.

Read more on Black Lives Matter

What does the Future Holds

Well, 2020 has not been the year we all thought it would be. I can’t believe we are in August now. All our plans and special occasions for 2020 has been ruined. Our whole life has changed forever. 2020 has been the year of the war, we are fighting to breathe clear and clean air and we are fighting for the equality promise that was made years and years ago of which was never fulfilled. To be honest, I think Racism will never stop. It might reduce but it will never stop. As far as people choose to see colour and not human beings, we will never overcome Racism.

My family and I have decided to relocate to Nigeria for at least a year. We have had a lot of family discussions about everything that has happened and how it has affected us a family. We decided we need a break from everything. A new lifestyle all together in Nigeria. This decision was not made out of the blue, we’ve always had it in mind but never dared to do it. So I think Covid-19 has given us a boost. I know it’s a big risk especially during this time, but it might just be what we need to reconnect and grow together as a family. Also, it will help my daughter and me to learn more about our culture. I am looking forward to this adventure.

Life is too short

Guys, Life is too short. If I should take anything from this Pademdic is to Count my blessings and live your life.  No matter what has happened  God won’t let you go. This is part of the reason why I decided to start a new adventure in Nigeria with my family. I advise you all to make smart planning and start living your life. I believe that one day the world will be a better place but the war has only just started. It will take the next 5 years or so to get things ‘normalised’.

Covid-19 is so dangerous because it’s in the air that we humans, the animals and nature need to stay alive. And we have Doctors and Nurses risking leaving their families at home and risking their lives to take care of us in Hospitals. We owe it to them to at least follow simple guidelines – practice social distancing and wear a face mask. Y’all we can do this together and win this war together.

I think I should stop there now. This post has gone longer than I expected. I hope you enjoyed this post. Talk soon.

 

21 Comments

  • may palacpac

    yeah, my parents are the same. they send us messages on what to do to stay protected — or tell us not to go out. they’re just concerned, i guess. it can trigger stress sometimes, though, so i get you.

  • Erica (The Prepping Wife)

    Thank you for the update, Sonia! It has been a crazy year, to say the least! But I believe some great things can come out of that too, and I’m looking forward to seeing you thrive in Nigeria while being closer to your family. Keep updating everyone on what’s going on. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and incredibly strong woman. You’ve already faced many challenges, and I know you can handle this new chapter in your life too.

  • Chloé Arnold

    It’s always nice to read that others are thinking and feeling similar things to what I’ve been feeling. Love your reminder to count our blessings and to live in the present. You’re right life is too short.

  • Subhashish Roy

    The biggest movement that I have seen in recent years has been that ‘Black life matters’ and I am so happy that people did raise their voice. Life has not been too pleasant this year but being an optimist I believe good days are not far away.It’s just a matter of few months and we need to keep praying.

  • Lyosha

    Black Lives Matter is the most important movement this year. I strongly believe and hope it will stop being a trend and will become a thing permanent, solid and important

  • Kat

    Wow, how amazing – I hope you have a great new start in Nigeria.
    It has indeed been a crazy year, but I do hope it can only get better from here.

  • Britt K

    I feel like every time we blink, something else goes haywire. 2020 is like the horrible gift that no one wants, but it never stops giving…
    I agree with you. I can’t understand for the life of me why racism is still such a big problem in our world today. We have come so far with so many things, and yet people hold onto archaic racial stereotypes and hatred that should be long past gone. Know that while I can never understand what it’s like to live as a black woman in today’s society, that I do stand with you and support you in any way that I can.
    Nigeria stounds like a great new adventure for you and your family. I’m looking forward to hearing more about it!

  • Smita

    Nigeria sounds like the start of a wonderful adventure Sonia! You’re right that it will bring your daughter closer to your culture and help her in embracing it and being proud of it. Kudos on the decision and all the best for it!

  • Lene

    2020 has been a really hard year to process and is just felt like a constant assault. I’m doing my utmost to educate myself about all of it, but it can be overwhelming. I hope your new life in Nigeria will give you the peace you need. Looking forward to the next update.

  • Nkem

    Thank you for sharing your update Sonia. This year has been a whirlwind if anything. Seems like you’ve been through a lot and I was sorry to hear that you spend your birthday alone without anybody remembering I often have the same fears. But you’re right in that life is too short and we have to count our blessings and make each day count so I hope that you have a new amazing journey in Nigeria and are able to feel at home and a sense of belonging.

  • Tracy @ Cleland Clan

    Nothing about this year has been normal or ideal. We all just need to do our best to be kind to one another because we don’t have any idea what others are dealing with. I wish you so much luck on your new adventure in Nigeria, Sonia, and can’t wait to read all about it.

  • Luna S

    This year has been crazy stressful all the way around! Even though the lockdown has been tough I am glad you and your family are alright and I am sending positive vibes your way that things will stay that way. I wish you the best!

  • Scott DeNicola

    2020 can not be over soon enough. I live in NYC so we went through the brunt of COVID 19 early and got to see firsthand the protests in the streets as well as the riots that destroyed my city. I have many friends who are law enforcement so the same way we don’t want to sterotype a race is the same way we should avoid sterotyping all police officers. Geroge Floyd should have never been killed and all my police officer friends agree however destroying cities is not the answer. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to be your children and future husband and I hope in their lifetime and mine that things get better. Violence on both sides is never the answer. Downtown NYC is destroyed and some peoples businesses will never come back becasue of it. Have we become an eye for an eye cutlure? I sure hope not.

  • Melinda Cummings

    COVID-19 has thrown all of us in a loop. My mom was kind of like your mom, sending me all these different remedies… Living in the same city it was hard on my kids not to see her.
    Good luck with your move!

  • Jennie

    Thank you for being transparent and sharing about these past few months. People need to hear that they’re not alone and others are feeling the same as them. Best of wishes to you in your move to Nigeria!

  • Sarah

    You expressed what so many of us are feeling and I don’t have the added angst of being African-American right now. What an incredibly emotional decision you made to move your family. I hope that you are able thrive in Nigeria. Best of luck.

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