Juggling Parenting With Entrepreneurship. Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will be sharing a guest post from Judy Piatkus, founder of global publishing house Piatkus Books and author of ‘Ahead of Time’. Judy was a single parent of two daughters, cerebral palsy when she launched Piatkus Books in 1979. While juggling being an entrepreneur with parenthood, she grew her business from her kitchen table to a global publishing brand which she eventually sold to Little Brown in 2007.
Drawing on her own experiences, Judy will cover: There are always reasons not to; you will make mistakes with your children; focus on being happy; you can’t predict everything you’ll face; the freedom payoff; challenges come and go; why there is no need to feel guilty; setting a good example; feeling alive; the right mindset; working as a family team, and getting external support. Judy can explain each point and offer a key takeaway for each one.
Juggling Parenting With Entrepreneurship
For entrepreneurial women hoping to become mothers or who already have families, the challenge of running your own business and bringing up a family at the same time is a complex one. Nevertheless, many women are doing it successfully – despite the challenges. Look around you. All of us know some great role models.
I believe that when you truly set your intention to build your own business and when you determine that nothing is going to stand in your way, you are already one solid step on the road to success.
Focus on Being Happy
When I was in my late teens, I knew that I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mum. My mother, a woman with many talents, had been an unfulfilled and frustrated housewife, and I didn’t want that for myself. I have always believed that a happy, loving mother will be well-placed to create a happy home life for her family.
We cannot choose to be happy, but I made up my mind that I would do my best. I wanted a happy life, and that was my goal. It helped that I have a naturally optimistic temperament. I married in my early twenties. A decade later, it became evident to both of us that our relationship was no longer working. It seemed better that we should separate and not stay together ‘for the children’s sake.
Every family is unique. We cannot know in advance what the impact of separation and divorce will be on our children. But life is never easy for children growing up with quarrelsome parents.
You can’t predict everything you’ll face
I hadn’t expected to find myself a single working mother with three young children. It wasn’t easy, and this was compounded by my oldest child, my first-born daughter, being disabled. She has cerebral palsy, is non-verbal and is unable to walk.
Of course, I would get stressed, overwhelmed and angry some days. But it never lasted for long, and we’d all soon make it up. I didn’t have a problem apologising to them, and they usually understood what part they had played. My younger daughter always said she wouldn’t refer to her children as being ‘over-tired at bed-times, but of course, when she became a mother, that resolution didn’t last very long. So even the best of intentions don’t always work out the way you plan! Don’t beat yourself up.
There will always be days when everyone is stressed, argumentative and tired. Always acknowledge this so that everyone’s feelings are recognised.
Making mistakes with our children
All mothers feel guilt sometimes. We want to be the perfect parent for our children, and we want to fulfil all their needs. It helps to recognise at an early stage that we will all make mistakes and that often we won’t know we are making them until our children are much older and keep reminding us. We often learn years later that what we were anxious about was ‘our stuff’, and it wasn’t keeping them awake at night.
Conversely, they often blame us for things that impacted them in ways that we had not appreciated were so worrisome for them at the time. Even the best parental communicators get it wrong sometimes.
No parent gets it right all the time. If you are truly doing your best, there’s no need to beat yourself up. Always aim to keep your communication lines open.
The freedom payoff
One of the most important advantages of being an entrepreneur is that, while you might be working longer and harder than ever before, you do have the freedom to set your hours. You might have to answer emails before everyone gets up or after they have gone to bed. But it’s a small price to pay for having control over your own time.
Being your boss is the best kind of freedom.
Challenges come and go
My most challenging times were the periods between nannies starting and leaving. Someone always needed to be waiting for my older daughter, who would be brought home at 4 pm every day on the school bus. And later, when she moved into a home, someone had to be waiting at the bus stop to meet my younger daughter before she was old enough to walk home independently. There were no mobile phones then, so no one could text if there were delays. Mobile phones make it so much easier for parents and children to communicate when they need to during the day, especially if you can’t be at the school gate.
Recognise that nothing is static. You may overcome one challenge only to be faced with another. This is normal, and every entrepreneurial parent will go through these cycles.
No need to feel guilty
The most important thing a working parent needs to try to do is to avoid feeling guilty. Women have been working in fields, factories and offices throughout history. Few women have had the luxury of sitting at home, able to enjoy playing with their children without a preponderance of household tasks. The landed gentry had staff to help with childcare, while many women who could look after their children all day often wished they had the opportunity to go to work.
Throughout history, women have worked a double shift to put food on the table and to give their children a good start in life. Wanting to work, for whatever reason, is perfectly normal.
Setting a good example.
Every one of us is born with unique gifts and talents, and we need to find how to use and benefit from our skills and capabilities to lead our own rewarding and fulfilling life. By doing that, we set our children a good example of working hard to enjoy what we do, which gives our lives meaning and purpose. Children of working parents often become more independent and capable at a younger age than some of their peers.
Entrepreneurial parents demonstrate leadership, managing responsibility and solving problems.
Being an entrepreneur is one of the most exciting experiences that life has to offer. You have complete freedom to create your product and service in the way that you want to. It’s exciting, rewarding and also nerve-wracking. But you will feel genuinely alive while you are doing it. And if you become an entrepreneur because you have no other choice, the successes you may achieve could be all the sweeter as it wasn’t what you had planned to do with your life. If your business becomes successful, you will likely sell it and have sufficient money to explore other dreams.
Entrepreneurship encourages you to feel fully alive.
The right mindset
Whether you already have a business and have struggled through lockdown juggling the needs of the business with homeschooling, or perhaps this last year has awakened within you a dream to start your own business – your mindset now becomes crucial. Do your homework, focus on what you want to achieve and persevere while, at the same time, being prepared to be flexible and collaborative. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, so programme it for success.
Believe in yourself and your ability to keep going, no matter what hurdles are in your way.
Working as a team
Always get your partner, if you have one, on the side. When the two of you are working as a team and supporting one another, everything is possible. Next, look to your second line of defence, family members living nearby, helpful neighbours, schoolfriends’ parents. All these people need to form your support group and be there to back you up when you need them, and in turn, you have to be there to do the same for them when times are tough. With your support network in place – and without family and friends, you may have to employ someone – then you are equipped to achieve great heights.
Cherish the people in your support network. Life will be much harder without them.
Never has there been more support for people who want to start their own business. There are books and courses, podcasts and lectures, consultants and mentors. Everything you need to know can be found on the internet. Local and online community groups and networks are there to speed you on your way. This is truly the best time in history to get help as you work to build your company.
Never be too shy to ask for help. There are always people willing and ready to support courageous entrepreneurs.
Building a business as a working parent is a great adventure. As your business progresses, you will become ever more experienced and capable. You will feel more confident about the challenges to be solved in your home life too. Our lives are precious, and we all want to look back and know that we followed our dreams. Love yourself, believe in yourself, and know that you will never look back with regret when you give something your best shot.
I hope you enjoyed that.
ABOUT THE AUTOUR
Judy Piatkus is the author of ‘Ahead of Her Time; How a One-Woman Startup Became a Global Publishing Brand’. Judy is an entrepreneur, publisher and business coach specialising in conscious leadership. She founded Piatkus Books when she was in her 20s and grew the company to become an international brand, before selling it in 2007, just before the global financial crash that she had shrewdly foreseen. She is now a keynote speaker and a coach and mentor to start-ups. In 2011 she founded Conscious Café, a network that brings people together for connection and discussion. www.judypiatkus.com