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HIV Series

How Living With HIV Affect Me As A Single Mother?

How Living With HIV Affect Me As A Single Mother? Hey guys, I hope you are well. In recent posts, I wrote about my journey of living with HIV. I appreciate all the support from those posts, such as Being Pregnant With HIV, thank you so much. In today’s post, I want to talk more about the virus and how living with the virus has affected me as a single mother.

How Living With HIV Affect Me As A Single Mother?

As a mother in general, you worry about Children. You would want to do anything for them and to protect them. You want to care for them, socialise with them and just love them. And you will become physically and emotionally attached to your child – that’s the bond between the mother and her children.

When you are told that you have a virus that has no cure, naturally you will start to panic. You start worrying about what happens now and what happens next. You’ll start asking all the ‘What if’ questions in the world and have a lot of doubts about rising your child or how is your child going to cope without you?

Motherhood

Being a single mother has been a tough journey, but it really up to you as a mum to make a decision of whether or not you are going to fight for child and try to with a plan to live a healthy, fulfilled lifestyle.

For me, my daughter was my number one priority. There were times I felt depressed, confused and angry. Living with HIV is a very lonely world. My biggest worry was that if I don’t step up then my child will be taken away from me. My bond with my daughter grew stronger and I felt very protective of her to the point where I wouldn’t let anyone carry her.

However, as things time goes by, I think my family have built trust in me that I can take care of my daughter all by myself. I also saw a growth in my confidence and belief in myself that I can do this. My daughter became my best friend and I decided to fight for her all day, every day, for the rest of my life.

I think I have been doing that. She has grown into a lovely, smart little girl. She’s only 5 but so much as happened within the last 5 years and she’s been nothing but strong.

Living Life To The Full

To be honest, I think having HIV has made me a better mum than what I have could have imagined. It has kept me grounded and focused in life. Dealing with both HIV and my daughter at the same time has been an exhausting journey.  It really does take a lot of energy out of you to look after a child, as well as building a home all by yourself and at the same try to take care of yourself because you have a virus that has no cure.

The earlier you dealt with your own emotions about the virus, the better for you. At the end of the day, you are the one who is going to be living with the virus and you are the one who will be facing Life with it.

I spent a whole year crying my eyes out, just because it was what I needed at the time. Everything was just coming overwhelming for me and I just had to break down to let go of the pain I was feeling. However, I feel very proud of what I have achieved in the last 6 years. The Future is looking bright and I am ready to take it on.

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