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HIV Series

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?

How does HIV affect my dating life? Hey everyone, I hope you are well. I am going to start off by saying thank you for the support in my previous post – Being Pregnant With HIV. In today’s post, I am going to talk about my dating life and how HIV has an impact on it.

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?

I have not had the best of luck since the diagnosis. In the beginning, like within the first 2 years, I have been put off dating because, OK, I am going to be really honest with you – the reason is I was scared of sex. Also, I had fears that I would e mistreated and decided to stay away from the dating scene, which was very difficult because I am still a beautiful woman and many men are attracted to me.

I made all the effort I could think of to make myself less pretty. By wearing a rubbish outfit, messy hair, staying home all the time and adding weight. However, you know the saying ‘ Black Don’t Crack’ Yup that still stands. So it didn’t matter what I did, I’m still beautiful.

Experiences

Anyway, when guys approach me, I am so uncomfortable now because I do not know what it is they are after and I don’t know what to say because I feel like they will never understand what it is.

Some experience I have had includes a guy walking away the second I told him about the virus, a guy who understands but only to take advantages and walk away. Someone even told me that he likes me but e can’t date me because he doesn’t want to die.

These experiences are very heart-breaking. It makes me feel like I am a danger to society. It is very hard for some people to understand that the virus is not a death sentence again.

One thing I have learnt from these experiences depends on the individual, some people will date you as long as the virus stays between them. Some people might really like you and say they don’t care what anyone else thinks and say. It then depends on you, to decide which one you want to date.

Advice On Dating

My only advice I can give when it comes to dating is to disclose when you are ready. Date each other before committing to a relationship. If you like somebody and think it is leading to something serious, you won’t really know how they feel until you tell them.

Disclosure can be very hard especially when you just met them, you start to have feelings for them, or you don’t want the relationship to end. However, it is important to disclose because by doing that you are not only protecting your partner but yourself too.

To me disclosing is how I get to know whether or not the relationship is strong. If someone says ‘I am HIV positive’ most people are like to believe that but at then of the day, the person said disclose, could be lying or just ant to get your views out of it. However, I have now learnt that honestly doesn’t really matter nowadays, but this is somebody’s health we are talking about. As long as you are on treatment and you are undetectable, by law, it’s your choice to disclose.

One thing to remember is HIV does not define your life, it doesn’t define you as a man or a woman. This virus can happen to anyone. At the end of the day, everyone has a secret. Live your life!

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