HIV Series

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?

How does HIV affect my dating life? Hey everyone, I hope you are well. I will start by saying thank you for the support in my previous post – Being Pregnant With HIV. In today’s post, I will talk about my dating life and how HIV impacts it.

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?


I have not had the best of luck since the diagnosis. Within the first two years, I had not been dating because, OK, I am going, being honest with you – the reason is I was scared of sex. Also, I had fears that I would e mistreated and decided to stay away from the dating scene, which was very difficult because I am still a beautiful woman, and many men are attracted to me.

I made all the effort I could think of to make myself less pretty by wearing a rubbish outfit, messy hair, staying home all the time and adding weight. However, you know the saying ‘ Black Don’t Crack’ Yup, that still stands. So it didn’t matter what I did, I’m still beautiful.


When guys approach me, I am so uncomfortable now because I do not know what they are after, and I don’t know what to say because I feel like they will never understand what it is.

I have had some experience with a guy walking away the second I told him about the virus, a guy who understands but only takes advantages and walks away. Someone even said that he likes me, but e can’t date me because he doesn’t want to die.

These experiences are very heart-breaking. It makes me feel like I am a danger to society. It is challenging for some people to understand that the virus is not a death sentence again.

I have learned from these experiences that depending on the individual, and some people will date you as long as the virus stays between them. Some people might like you and say they don’t care what anyone else thinks and say. It then depends on you to decide which one you want to date.

Advice On Dating

My only advice I can give when it comes to dating is to disclose when you are ready. Date each other before committing to a relationship. If you like somebody and think it leads to something serious, you won’t know how they feel until you tell them.

Disclosure can be very hard, mostly when you just met them. You start to have feelings for them or don’t want the relationship to end. However, it is essential to disclose that you are not only protecting your partner but also yourself.

To me, disclosing is how I get to know whether or not the relationship is healthy. If someone says ‘I am HIV positive’, most people are like to believe that, but the person said disclose could be lying or just ant to get your views out of it. However, I have now learnt that honestly doesn’t matter nowadays, but this is somebody’s health we are talking about. As long as you are on treatment and you are undetectable, it’s your choice to disclose by law.

One thing to remember is HIV does not define your life. It doesn’t define you as a man or a woman.

Live your life!

I hope you enjoyed that.

Talk soon

Working with Strong women, I help empower women not to give up on their goals and find true happiness within themselves. #lifestyle #womenempowerment #selfcare

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